Goggle Meat to Google Meet: "It's Your Problem. Fix It!"

The Livingston News

April 1, 2020

Goggle Meat to Google: Please address name confusion.

The management of Goggle Meat Co. of Livingston, Wyoming, wants everyone to know that Google’s new name for its online meeting platform has nothing to do with their company.

“We’ve got all these gabbers showing up in our collaboration site” lamented Frank Goggle. “That’s supposed to be where our feedlot folks share information with ranchers, railroad dispatchers and beef distributors and where we keep each other updated on supply chain developments. It ain’t supposed to be for them Tik Tok videos ‘n’ memes ‘n’ millennial jokes ‘n’ that kind of crap.”

“We’re in two different businesses” added Frank’s brother Bill Goggle. “We operate a feedlot. We’re the central part of a supply network. It starts with individual cattle grazing contently in open fields,” Bill continued. “Them cattle ain’t got no idea what’s happenin’ to 'em, life is just ducky” said Bill with a wry smile, adding that “all the while they hang out they gain in size and value. Then they’re rounded up and loaded into cattle cars and shipped to feed lots like ours where we bring ‘em up to optimum size and value. After that they’re harvested to bring a return on the investment of all the players in the cattle economy.”

Adding to his brother’s observation, Frank Goggle noted that “Google needs to do something about this confusion. We’re in two separate businesses. Ever since Google changed the name of Hangouts Meet to Google Meet, their users barge into our supply chain collaboration facility and just feed on each others’ chatter and jokes and BS. Google needs to round ‘em up and bring ‘em over to their Google Meet central place and do whatever they do with ‘em. Serve ‘em up to advertisers and politicians I guess” said Frank, adding that. “We ain’t got nothin’ to do with that business.”

“Hey wait...” Bill added, with a facial expression that suggested a sudden realization.

Copyright ©2020 Wes Kussmaul